Cindy Esch says she's not an athlete, yet she plans to ride her bike 500 miles in 10 days - after not having ridden a bike for 18 years. 

Crazy? Maybe, but no more crazy than the past decade of her life.

Like a butterfly, the symbol of the nonprofit organization she co-founded with her husband, Chuck, the Liberty Lake resident has transformed both mentally and physically in recent years. The events leading to this change started when Esch was a kid and culminated this year with the development of Childhood Saved, a non-profit organization that provides financial assistance and emotional support to survivors of childhood sexual abuse.  

"Like a caterpillar, when a survivor heals, they are free to finally fly," Esch said.

It took many years for her to fly, though. When she married Chuck 19 years ago, she fell into a deep depression and contemplated killing herself. Not because of the marriage, but because of a secret from her past. Esch had been sexually abused as a child. 

Initially, counseling didn't help, and her therapist threatened to have her committed as a danger to herself. Chuck began attending sessions with her and revealed a secret of his own - he had also been sexually abused. 

The couple spent more than a year in therapy, making great progress and healing. Something else was troubling them, though.

"We noticed that people in the group sessions would often quit coming after a while and heard that they had run out of insurance benefits and couldn't afford to pay for therapy themselves," Esch said.

The couple spent thousands of dollars of their own money to continue treatment as long as needed and swore to each other that if they could ever afford it, they would help pay for other people's treatment. 

Life got better but then harder again after Chuck had a massive stroke. Esch took a year off work to be his caregiver and gained 40 pounds. Already overweight, her doctor told her she needed to lose weight to avoid serious health problems of her own. She started a program with Take Shape for Life, a weight loss and healthy living program, and quickly lost 55 pounds. 

With her husband recovering, Esch was looking and feeling good - until she woke up one morning in February 2012 to find a lump in her left breast. Tests showed it was just a cyst - but that she had metastasized cancer in her other breast. The chemotherapy that followed was physically devastating.

"A week and a half later, my white blood cell count was so low that I had to be quarantined so I wouldn't catch a cold or anything else," Esch recalled. "It would have killed me at that point."

Esch had multiple side effects from the chemo and was so weak at one point she couldn't lift her head. She thought she was going to die. 

"I picked out an outfit and told Chuck to bury me in this," she said. "And then we cried."

She didn't die, though. Her recovery was slow, but she pulled through. However, she had somehow gained 30 pounds during her illness. The day after her last chemo treatment, her doctor told her to lose the weight or it would be obesity that would kill her. She went back to Take Shape for Life, lost 96 pounds and found a new career. Seeing how effective the program was, Esch trained to be a certified health coach with Take Shape for Life and has been doing it ever since. 

Thankful for both of their recoveries, from both physical health issues and the ravages of sexual abuse, Cindy and Chuck Esch decided it was time to start giving back and set about trying to figure out how to fund a nonprofit that would pay for therapy for other people.

"I was talking to an acquaintance who mentioned that she had once raised money by doing a bike ride, and the light just went on," she said. "I would do a ride to draw attention to childhood sexual abuse and raise money to help others heal." 

The fact that she hadn't ridden in 18 years wasn't a deterrent. Along with legal work to form Childhood Saved, Esch started training. Gary Degastine with Northwest Recumbent Cycle in Post Falls loaned her a three-wheel Terra Trike Sportster until she could pay for it. Her neighbor, Judy McGrady, stepped in to pay for it and told Esch to pay her back when she could. 

With hundreds of miles of training in her legs, Esch will embark on the 500-mile ride at 5 a.m. Aug. 29 from Rocky Hill Park, chosen because the land used to be her grandfather's farm.

She will ride through eastern and central Washington and Moscow and Lewiston, Idaho, stopping along the way to tell her story in speaking engagements and raise funds and awareness for Childhood Saved.

The ride also ends at Rocky Hill Park - on Labor Day, Sept. 7. The public is invited to a celebration event featuring a walk, music, demonstrations and more. The event is tentatively planned between 3:30 and 7:30 p.m., with Esch expected to arrive at her 500-mile "finish line" during that timeframe.

For Esch, though, this event is just the beginning. She hopes it inspires others to answer the call of caring for victims and helping them to find the type of healing she found - building a movement of people who will help "shine a light." 

"Close your eyes and imagine you see a scared child cowing in a dark corner, because that is what victims of childhood sexual abuse carry inside them - a scared child cowering in a dark corner," she said. "Now imagine you could shine the light of hope and healing into that darkness. That is what you are doing when you support Childhood Saved. You are shining the light of hope and healing into the darkness that is childhood sexual abuse. You are giving someone back a life worth living and letting them know they are worth saving."

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