By Chad Kimberley
Splash Column

Two years ago my family had Thanksgiving with some local family and friends. We watched football, hung out, gave thanks and felt slightly nauseated as the day came to an end. Last year we switched locations but primarily participated in a similar schedule. This year the party moves to my house.

I. Am. Excited. 

I am not necessarily excited for the deeper cleaning of the house my wife will want to do in preparation for our guests. I am not necessarily excited about having to help out with a lot of the food preparation - I am much more of an eat-the-food type of guy. And I am not excited about the inevitable cleaning of the house post-festivities that needs to happen despite the desire to engage in a couch coma.

But I am extremely excited to lay out the plans for the day because this party, unlike the belief of Hans in the movie "Father of the Bride" that "every party has a pooper," this day of family, friends and feasting will not include a pooper - at least of the party variety. 

Our Thanksgiving festivities will kick off with, for my family, our second Turkey Trot with the Liberty Lake Running Club. I have a strong belief that the 350 calories I burn off on my brisk morning slog (slow jog) will clearly balance out the 3,500 calories I will consume the rest of the day (or by lunch). I also love the fact that the LLRC collects donations for Blessings Under the Bridge. Thanksgiving is a phenomenal time to share the blessings we celebrate with those who may need a special blessing this season.

The Bears kick off at 9:30 a.m. Being a Midwest guy, the Bears are my football team. A few years ago I met Jay and his family. Jay was a Midwest guy as well. Jay is a Bears fan. Jay and I became quick friends. The Bears game has the possibility of being the highlight of our day. Now traditionally, I eat during the NFL games, but with such an early start out here on the West Coast, it is hard to imagine carving the turkey at 9:30 in the morning, so this season I will start a new tradition.

Bear Brunch. 

I already have my Bears plates and napkins purchased. I will have my Bears gear represented and my kids dressed appropriately. And we will kick off the food portion of the day with a couple of food items: Bear Claws and Deep Dish Breakfast Pizza. For drinks we will need to have some orange juice and maybe some blue Hawaiian punch. 

Just for the record, as of right now, I have no idea how to make either of those two food dishes.

This might be a good time to go throw around the football or perhaps do other "throwing" types of activities based on either the outcome of the Bears game or the outcome of the Bear Brunch dishes I am going to attempt to create.

The Eagles and Cowboys kick off the next game at 1:30 p.m. and I believe this will be about the right time to have the traditional Thanksgiving meal. We, of course, will have some of the main components, such as turkey, ham and multiple types of potato dishes. We will have some rolls, veggies and I would imagine some stuffing.  But at the same time, as the host of Thanksgiving this year, I feel we need to add a couple of new traditions to our meal.

Venison and lobster. 

No, I am not crazy, but the history teacher side of me wants to use this opportunity of hosting to introduce a couple of dishes that were probably served at the traditional first Thanksgiving between the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians. I am not a hunter, but I am hoping to acquire some venison jerky before Thanksgiving while also finding a way to add some lobster to our meal. Being near the coast and forest areas would have allowed the early settlers to have access to both of these food sources. Being near a grocery store should help me have access.

The final game starts at 5:30 p.m. and features the local favorite: the Seattle Seahawks. By this time of the day, we will have eaten tons of food. We will probably have played some, including partaking in the obsession of our guests who love to play Ticket to Ride. Naps might have been taken. Kids will probably have destroyed the basement. So really there is only one option left to complete the perfect hosting of Thanksgiving: dessert.

I love dessert. Several years ago my family and I headed down to the Liberty Lake Farmers Market for Pie Day and had a horrible jingle placed into our heads, "Oooohhh pies, pies, pies …" And yes, that little jingle was sung as loudly as my kids' little vocal chords would allow the rest of the day. 

That actually seems like a good idea for dessert. Pies, pies, pies will work quite well. We can eat pies with pumpkin, banana cream, chocolate, apple and perhaps a solid peanut butter variety if any of our guests have special abilities in the kitchen. I am already excited for the fourth quarter.

We will have a literal two-minute warning in which everything sitting out must be consumed within two minutes before it all gets placed in the gallon storage bags to be distributed evenly among the families for leftover lunches for the next two weeks.

I am so excited for Thanksgiving. Now after I submit this column, I should go ask my wife about some of these ideas I am planning on doing. You know what they say, easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Bring on the lobster!